Home Sweet Home

So today I had a lot of fun at church. It was awesome, but I feel bad for not going to sunday school till the last 5 minutes... and then I left relief society early which leads me to a story. So I was going to leave after sacrament. The rest of my family decided to leave after sunday school so I changed my plans. So after sacrament, I went with Kaitlyn to go look for out sunday school teachers. We ran into friends and so we got caught up. Then Bro. Lofgran came and told us to go to sunday school. Then I talked to Bro. Lofgran for a few minutes. By the time we all went to class, there was only a few minutes left. It ran over a few minutes so when I came out, I wandered the halls looking for my family who said they were going to leave then. Johnathan Tyler said I looked like a lost puppy. I told him I thought my family left me. He said they wouldn't do that..... they did.

It's the Climb

Only one week left in the semester! It's been a fun ride and not what i had planned on in any way... but that's life. :) "Life's a climb, but the view is great"
This next year is going to be good. I'll find out exactly what I want to do. Oh and I turn 20 this year. Does that mean I have to be an adult? hmm okay...
Well i'll see you all at home by next sunday. Sorry this is short, but I should go finish some homework.

A growth oppurtunity

So over this Thanksgiving break, I gave my sister a call. I was really missing her and just feeling sad because i'm suppose to be at the point in my life where she is suppose to be my best friend. Her and I used to fight when we were younger, my Mom said that when we got older, we would be such good friends... Which we really could have been. I was feeling sad that I couldn't call her and talk to her about school, or boys, or friends...
So I called her, and we talked about some of the struggles at home, then we moved into the topic of our religion. She was saying all these things that don't make sense to her about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I couldn't think as fast as she was talking. I think back now and i'm pretty sure I knew all the right answers.... and ya know, she really didn't want to hear the truth. For example she was saying that the "Mormon's own the Coke company". I had never heard that before. I tried to deny it but she didn't accept that because hundreds of people have told her... and we all know that if hundreds of people said it, then its definately true (insert sarcastic eye roll here). She then moved onto another subject, but later came back to this again. I then looked it up on Wikipedia and it doesn't say anywhere in there about us owning the company. I was thinking Wikipedia was a reliable source to her, so it would probably be enough. She also said other things about our religion that I don't ever remember hearing before... I couldn't seem to talk fast enough, but ya know.. I really didn't think she was looking for clarification. I was pretty upset, and I ended up going to my brother's house. He was then texting my sister trying to stand up for me. She then texted me telling me shes dissapointed i sent someone else to fight my battle for me and that I needed to stand up for what I believe in. Thats the thing, I really did stand up for what I believe in, I told her I know its true, I just didn't stand up for myself. She told my brother she was just looking for my opinion on some subjects. He offered to clear up anything she had questions about. She turned him down...
I really learned a lot from my sister. I really saw how much shes forgotten. I always knew the spirit withdraws as you draw further away from the Lord... but I never had really seen it. It's hard to hear everything I heard from my sister. The same girl I shared a room with growing up... but it has helped me grow stronger.

That Limb doesn't look to strong....

Okay so this whole going out on a limb thing... it's really hard. Theres this guy at school I really like. I told him a couple weeks ago that I like him, turns out he likes me too, but it sounds we're holding back on the whole relationship because we're not on the same track... yeah its really hard. I'm not getting much support on this because in Rexburg everyones in a hurry to get married. I think i'm doing the right thing... This is one of those times i really don't like the track system.
Heres the other thing, i'm probably going to be put on academic suspension. Yes i'm extremely sad about it, but I also feel at peace with it too. Ya know, maybe theres some reason. Maybe there will be a program somewhere that will allow me to do something I couldn't do here... I really don't know.
Sigh....

The list...

Okay so I was looking through old stuff and decided that everyone should make a list of the qualities they want there future husband to have while there in college. My friend Alyssa Elliot and I made this list last semester as well as a list of goals.

Goals
1. Climb a tree
2. Dance in the rain
3. Swim with dolphins
4. Go to Africa
5. Jump off a rope swing into water
6. Go to the circus



Future Husband
1. Worthy Priesthool holder
2. Hard worker
3. Sense of Humor
4. Strong Testimony
5. Determined/motivated
6. A little bit of chivalry
7. Preferably taller then me
8. Great Smile
9. Talkative
10. Returned Missionary
11. Outgoing

The last few are more just of things I want not so much of what I need. You know? It's crazy because my list has even changed since just last semester. Things are always changing... Crazy!!

Thanksgiving

Okay so i'm coming home for thanksgiving break. I had someone ask me to take them home but its a suprise so i can't say who it is. If everything goes as planned, then there will be me and three other people in the car. I should be home on Saturday. I don't know how long i'll stay, but we'll figure it out. It will be a fun week and hopefully an extremely productive week....
So in our apartment, we started writing down what we were thankful for every day. My roommate traced all of our hands and we made a paper turkey poster out of them. Ya know the ones you make in elementary school where you have the brown part of the turkey and then use your hand print for the back part? So it's like that but all of our hands are behind the turkey. Now everytime we have a visitor, they have to write down what theyre thankful for too. It's great fun. Normally we do it right after roommate prayer. Prayer is always fun too because we're normally laughing so much before hand and we have to calm down for prayer. I will miss my roommates this winter. I will miss a lot of people this winter, but being home will be good too. I'll make myself happy either way. :)

Tick Tick Tick... BOOM!

Time is running out. I think 5 weeks till the end of the semester... and if don't bring my grade up in this one class... I get put on suspension which means I don't get to come back to school in the spring... MAYBE by Fall. I hope so anyways. I wonder if I should look into defering the rest of the semester. Sigh I don't know. On top of this i'm so torn between wanting to stay in Rexburg and go home. I could really help out a lot if I went home, not to mention theres some really great people there, but its hard because I accomplish so much more when i'm here. I feel like a better person, the person that I want to be, but if I get put on suspension, there won't be any choice, I'll need to go home and take some community college classes. Ugh! I need to talk to this one teacher and find out if I can bring my grade up. He won't respond to my e-mail though.
So I'm not going to lie, one of the reasons I want to stay here this winter is because of the guy, but its definately not the only reason. Theres such a good safe feeling out here. I love BYU Idaho and Rexburg.
Sigh...

You've got me laughing while I sing you've got me smiling in my sleep

Okay so stake conference today was awesome. All the speakers did a really great job. I laughed at the guy who was telling returned missionaries that they need to date. They should have a date at least once a week. I really like the returned sister missionary who talked about when her father died while she was in the MTC. She then talked about how that experience helped her with someone out in the field who lost a daughter in car accident. I really liked sitting with Claire at conference too. We both had messages in there that we needed to hear.

In other news, I really like this guy here at school. The only reason we haven't started a realtionship is because of time. Unless I get a job and work out here, I leave for Christmas and don't come back until April, but then he will be gone. So except for a visit in winter semester, I probably wouldn't see him again till next fall. We're trying to do what we think is best, but its definately not easy. All and all, I just want to make sure we stay really good friends no matter what happens. I think Hannah's song "catch me" really applies to my situation these days...
Crazy things happen at BYU Idaho

My Condensed slap in the face...

Okay so I was sitting in my Book of Mormon class today. Bro. Christensen is my teacher and he is awesome!. Anyways today he was talking about the gift of discernment today and how powerful it is, and I was like "woah" because I have that gift too. I don't think I ever fully understood what it meant though. I'm sure a lot of people have it, but I want to use it as much as I can in my life. I want to help people, I just don't know how... Any suggestions?

I'll still look at you like the stars that shine....

So theres a few people where we can be flirtacious and silly and I know it means nothing, but as for everyone else, I have absolutely no idea whats going on. Sigh. I would love to give details, but I never know whos actually reading this. I don't know, I love hanging around guys. I've learned so much from hanging around the guys, i'm just used to being looked at like "one of the guys" ya know? Haha I remember this time I was the only girl in the car, and all the guys saw this girl walking on the street and they started talking about how she was attractive. I believe the word they used was "hot". Yeah I'm glad they all feel comfortable around me... lol

Count Your blessings name them one by one...

Okay first....
I've never truly understood what it mean to mourn with those that mourn and comfort those that stand in need of comfort until now. Yes i've always tried to be the the best friend to people that I could be, but I've only been okay at the comforting. I can't go into details, but a dear friend of mine lost a part of her family. I stayed up late with her for awhile just crying with her. I know everythings going to be okay, but thats not the point. Ya know, i've had a hard time this semester, but there are people going through a lot worse things then I am. One of my dear friends is having back problems and theres a small chance she will have to have surgery. I just wish I could be there, and see shes okay with my own eyes. I know she is though... It's tough being here at school when so much is going on at home. Both exciting and sad. My best friend comes home from his mission in less then a week, and i'm not going to be there. My neice and nephew are at home. My nephew is starting to learn how to say my name. How awesome is that?!
The friends I used to spend so much time with here are all pairing off... and I'm..... not. lol but I guess i'm used to that. I know everythings going to be okay, I don't want anyone to think i'm really upset or anything. Sometimes its just nice to say whats on your mind. I've been blessed in so many ways out here, I just worry a lot about whats going on. I'm blessed to have my brother and sister in law out here with me. I'm blessed with awesome roommates. The cool thing about that is we were talking a few days ago, and all of us were praying over the summer for good roommates. I really love those girls. I'm blessed with great teachers. One of my teachers is absolutely insane. The other day he jumped up on a desk screaming. It was awesome!
So I have this calling in relief society. I'm the compassionate service leader. I guess at home, theres more to do, but here at school, it pretty much means I get to be everyones friend. Isn't that awesome! I'm excited for it but also nervous I won't do a good job. I think this calling is probably one of the biggest blessings this semester. I'm excited for it.

Dance dance

Okay so when I first got here to school, I was rooming with Marianne right. We lived in a pretty bad apartment with electrical problems and some gross plumbing problems and three girls in one small room. It was awesome, but i don't think i'll ever do that again. I hope Marianne and I get a chance to room together again. So I first got here my first semester, and I think it was a day before classes start, I came out into the living room and Marianne was on the phone. I asked her who she was talking to and she said Daniel, and if I remember right, I kind of chuckled and told her to tell him hi for me. See I heard of Daniel all the way back in Washington from the previous fall. So while on the phone, I get told that I should accept Daniel's friend request... i'm just thinking... ummm okay i haven't even met this guy yet. So Daniel hung around the apartment and did our dishes and worked on the rubicks cube with Marianne... then the two of them decided they were going to try to get me to go dancing. Weird! I heard about swing and I thought thatd be cool, but then they showed me Lindy Swing... and I just thoguht it looked like a bunch of circles. Ballroom was cool though. The problem is, when youre first learning how to do it, they only teach one or two dances in a night, and so I didn't know the majority of the dances, but once you catch on, its a lot of fun. I'm still not the best by far, but I want to keep practicing. I should take some more classes! It would be amazing! It would be even more awesome if I had a dance partner though. Daniel is a good guy to dance with, but he knows so many girls that are really good at dancing, so Its not like I can ask him all the time ya know? yeah...
so I went swing dancing with my brother Chris the other day, it was awesome. We were laughing so much and I kept messing up and it was funny. We did some crazy west coast stuff... Chris is awesome.
So in conclusion, dancing is fun and you should do it...

Couldn't sleep... might be a bit random

I promise I will be better at blogging. It's been a crazy 2nd semester out here at school. It's kind of like everything I thought...isn't. I find that when trials come upon me, its best to turn to old friends. I love my new friends, the ones i've met last semester and this one, but they dont' really know me that well. I suppose thats my fault. It's hard though, because one of the people I let in the most also hurt me the most. The closer someone gets to you, the more power they have. Then theres me being on academic probation, that sucks. I'm so scared I won't get to come back to school, because I love being here and learning. Then theres the part of me that is really looking forward to spending time at hometoo. I miss my nephew and neice a lot. I feel the most grounded there, not wrapped up in this BYU Idaho scene. I still love being out here, and i'm really learning a lot not just in the class room, but in other ways too. I know this is random, but theres so much going through my head, and I can't sleep at the current moment anyways so I thought I'd start blogging... yeah.
I should really try to get back to sleep.