A growth oppurtunity

So over this Thanksgiving break, I gave my sister a call. I was really missing her and just feeling sad because i'm suppose to be at the point in my life where she is suppose to be my best friend. Her and I used to fight when we were younger, my Mom said that when we got older, we would be such good friends... Which we really could have been. I was feeling sad that I couldn't call her and talk to her about school, or boys, or friends...
So I called her, and we talked about some of the struggles at home, then we moved into the topic of our religion. She was saying all these things that don't make sense to her about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I couldn't think as fast as she was talking. I think back now and i'm pretty sure I knew all the right answers.... and ya know, she really didn't want to hear the truth. For example she was saying that the "Mormon's own the Coke company". I had never heard that before. I tried to deny it but she didn't accept that because hundreds of people have told her... and we all know that if hundreds of people said it, then its definately true (insert sarcastic eye roll here). She then moved onto another subject, but later came back to this again. I then looked it up on Wikipedia and it doesn't say anywhere in there about us owning the company. I was thinking Wikipedia was a reliable source to her, so it would probably be enough. She also said other things about our religion that I don't ever remember hearing before... I couldn't seem to talk fast enough, but ya know.. I really didn't think she was looking for clarification. I was pretty upset, and I ended up going to my brother's house. He was then texting my sister trying to stand up for me. She then texted me telling me shes dissapointed i sent someone else to fight my battle for me and that I needed to stand up for what I believe in. Thats the thing, I really did stand up for what I believe in, I told her I know its true, I just didn't stand up for myself. She told my brother she was just looking for my opinion on some subjects. He offered to clear up anything she had questions about. She turned him down...
I really learned a lot from my sister. I really saw how much shes forgotten. I always knew the spirit withdraws as you draw further away from the Lord... but I never had really seen it. It's hard to hear everything I heard from my sister. The same girl I shared a room with growing up... but it has helped me grow stronger.

That Limb doesn't look to strong....

Okay so this whole going out on a limb thing... it's really hard. Theres this guy at school I really like. I told him a couple weeks ago that I like him, turns out he likes me too, but it sounds we're holding back on the whole relationship because we're not on the same track... yeah its really hard. I'm not getting much support on this because in Rexburg everyones in a hurry to get married. I think i'm doing the right thing... This is one of those times i really don't like the track system.
Heres the other thing, i'm probably going to be put on academic suspension. Yes i'm extremely sad about it, but I also feel at peace with it too. Ya know, maybe theres some reason. Maybe there will be a program somewhere that will allow me to do something I couldn't do here... I really don't know.
Sigh....

The list...

Okay so I was looking through old stuff and decided that everyone should make a list of the qualities they want there future husband to have while there in college. My friend Alyssa Elliot and I made this list last semester as well as a list of goals.

Goals
1. Climb a tree
2. Dance in the rain
3. Swim with dolphins
4. Go to Africa
5. Jump off a rope swing into water
6. Go to the circus



Future Husband
1. Worthy Priesthool holder
2. Hard worker
3. Sense of Humor
4. Strong Testimony
5. Determined/motivated
6. A little bit of chivalry
7. Preferably taller then me
8. Great Smile
9. Talkative
10. Returned Missionary
11. Outgoing

The last few are more just of things I want not so much of what I need. You know? It's crazy because my list has even changed since just last semester. Things are always changing... Crazy!!

Thanksgiving

Okay so i'm coming home for thanksgiving break. I had someone ask me to take them home but its a suprise so i can't say who it is. If everything goes as planned, then there will be me and three other people in the car. I should be home on Saturday. I don't know how long i'll stay, but we'll figure it out. It will be a fun week and hopefully an extremely productive week....
So in our apartment, we started writing down what we were thankful for every day. My roommate traced all of our hands and we made a paper turkey poster out of them. Ya know the ones you make in elementary school where you have the brown part of the turkey and then use your hand print for the back part? So it's like that but all of our hands are behind the turkey. Now everytime we have a visitor, they have to write down what theyre thankful for too. It's great fun. Normally we do it right after roommate prayer. Prayer is always fun too because we're normally laughing so much before hand and we have to calm down for prayer. I will miss my roommates this winter. I will miss a lot of people this winter, but being home will be good too. I'll make myself happy either way. :)

Tick Tick Tick... BOOM!

Time is running out. I think 5 weeks till the end of the semester... and if don't bring my grade up in this one class... I get put on suspension which means I don't get to come back to school in the spring... MAYBE by Fall. I hope so anyways. I wonder if I should look into defering the rest of the semester. Sigh I don't know. On top of this i'm so torn between wanting to stay in Rexburg and go home. I could really help out a lot if I went home, not to mention theres some really great people there, but its hard because I accomplish so much more when i'm here. I feel like a better person, the person that I want to be, but if I get put on suspension, there won't be any choice, I'll need to go home and take some community college classes. Ugh! I need to talk to this one teacher and find out if I can bring my grade up. He won't respond to my e-mail though.
So I'm not going to lie, one of the reasons I want to stay here this winter is because of the guy, but its definately not the only reason. Theres such a good safe feeling out here. I love BYU Idaho and Rexburg.
Sigh...

You've got me laughing while I sing you've got me smiling in my sleep

Okay so stake conference today was awesome. All the speakers did a really great job. I laughed at the guy who was telling returned missionaries that they need to date. They should have a date at least once a week. I really like the returned sister missionary who talked about when her father died while she was in the MTC. She then talked about how that experience helped her with someone out in the field who lost a daughter in car accident. I really liked sitting with Claire at conference too. We both had messages in there that we needed to hear.

In other news, I really like this guy here at school. The only reason we haven't started a realtionship is because of time. Unless I get a job and work out here, I leave for Christmas and don't come back until April, but then he will be gone. So except for a visit in winter semester, I probably wouldn't see him again till next fall. We're trying to do what we think is best, but its definately not easy. All and all, I just want to make sure we stay really good friends no matter what happens. I think Hannah's song "catch me" really applies to my situation these days...
Crazy things happen at BYU Idaho